Why We Shouldn’t Tell Our Little Black Queens to Straighten Their Hair

I was parking into Smoothie King because I was craving a 20oz Chocolate Hulk and came upon this little girl that walk in with a woman that wasn’t that same race as her. Looked like they were in the same vehicle. Wasn’t sure if she was her mom, adopted mom, or whatever. In other words, I was unsure of her relation to her so excuse my ignorance. I walked into the Smoothie King and the lady was ordering them both fruit smoothies. The little girl glanced at me twice. Once she smiled and I smiled back at her. The second time it looked like she wanted to say something but did not want to come off weird. She seemed to be very shy and not very confident in her skin. She had a cute TWA, stylish glasses and glanced at the floor from time to time.

“Two 20oz Passion Smoothies please,” says the lady. After she ordered their smoothies, she asked the little girl,” So are you going to let your hair grow out? Or allow it to grow longer??” The little black queen responded with,” I am not sure. I cut it off short. It might grow I do not know.” The little black queen glanced away from her for a little bit and then looked at the floor as if she was uncomfortable with how this conversation is going. The lady replies, ” Oh, well I like it like that. Can you comb through it??”

When she asked her that question I almost said something. I was very close to interrupting but I let the conversation to continue. Little black queen replied,” It is sometimes hard to comb through it. I might need someone to help me.” The lady replies,” Well, as I said before I love your hair how it is.” Little Black Queen responded with a huge grin,” Thank you so much.”

When I saw the little black queen’s face light up after that comment I then knew that when I have a little black queen of my own I will never let her feel insecure in her own skin. I remember when I first went natural. One day, I decided to grow my hair out and cut it off. I literally walked down stairs one day with short curly hair and my mom was very supportive of it, however, people at school was not here for it. They were saying,” Why would you cut all of that hair?! Are you going to straighten it?!” When my fro started to get bigger,” I bet your hair would be down your back if you straighten it! You should straighten it!.”

The south is a great place to be but also it will test your confidence. So many people are too worried about other people’s appearance. Too worried about how long someone’s hair is. Too concerned about how everyone else is dressed for church. Just overall nosey, but that is the south for you. We have to watch what we say to our little girls. This world is already criticizing them daily. We do not need to add to that as well. When they go home, their home should not be as judgmental and stressful as their every day life is. We are their safe haven. We are their support system. We are their extra ounce of confidence. So to that little black queen I saw in smoothie king, you looked amazing and you wore your TWA ( tiny weeny Afro) so well. Keep your head high. You are beautiful. You will have some days with your hair that you will not feel as confident but you will get through those days.

A painting I did for my best friend’s nursery

The Lazy Eyed Woman & The Story of her Amazing Mother

So, most people notices that my right eye is somewhat droopy. I get messages, mostly from men, “Aye, do you have a lazy eye?!” “Aye, is there a reason why your eye closes like that?!” Believe me, I am no longer offend about comments about my eye and here is why.

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Photography Trey Easter/ Accessories CollectionsbyTDish

Many that know me know that there was bit of complication during my birth. My mom was in the hospital and there was blood in the womb. I was losing oxygen while my mom was trying to carefully bring her baby in this world. When I was taken out due to having to have a C-Section, I came without breathe in my body. My mom is a praying warrior. I am pretty sure she prayed over this moment so she was well prepared for all births of her children. The Lord must of listen to my mom because I started breathing eventually, but however the doctors told my mother I was either going to have brain damage or a lazy eye.

Well, let’s thank God for the minor lazy eye. Let’s thank God that my mother and I made it through this. Hence, the eye. My eye is no lazy just droopy still.

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Photography by Lashunda Simmons

So, everyday I walk and breathe I do not take life for granted. Every day, I work and get a pay check I do not take it for granted.

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My mother doesn’t know this but I have watched her struggle to keep her household together. So there were times just because she consistently prays for me, gave me breathe, did things to keep a house over our heads, and just was the Wonder Woman of a mom, I sacrificed a few things.

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Mom, the reason I told my elementary school violin teacher that I could not be in his class, after he broke the bridge on my violin, I didn’t want you to struggle to fix something so minor. Violin practice could wait.

Mom, the reason I was no longer interested in cheerleading was because I knew you struggled to give me those expensive ASS (excuse my language lol) cheerleading gear. Cheerleading/Dance could wait.

Mom, the reason why I stretched my 20 dollars for lunch for two weeks is because sometimes I knew that’s all you had. I could do without a cookie with my lunch in school. And plus you make the best cookies so eh! I didn’t need them.

Mom, you are the reason I breathe. I did not want you to struggle for me. I want you to know that I appreciate everything you have done and  every struggle you had to go through for little ole me/us. You got me out that womb. You prayed for me. You provided for me. You put food in my belly.  You pushed me to dream. You put your life before mine. You pushed me to be myself even though I was very nonchalant about any and everything. I know it was hard to deal with my stubborn, free spirited, and curious self.

The reason I have very STRONG faith in God is because of my mother. The reason I work hard for my dreams is because my mom pushes me to do so. The reason I do not take much disrespect from anyone is because I am pretty much like my mother lol! The reason I have confidence in myself is because my mom is sassy, honey! The reason I do not settle for mediocre love from any man is because my mom has never settled. The reason I try my hardest to keep everyone together is because my mom does whatever she needs to do to keep our family together. ( You didn’t  know I paid that much attention to you did ya?!)

I could go on and on but you get the point.

So this blog is dedicated to your efforts and how amazing you are.  I have been watching over you and learning from you since birth. You did everything and more than I could imagine as a mother. I love the heck out of you and I do not say it enough. And if you did notice, You did a GREAT job raising us. You are an amazing mother.

Fellow readers, Appreciate your mothers. Honor your parents. Be there for your family. Hug them tight! Love them with all of your heart. God Bless you all. Thanks for taking a moment into my life.

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Content Writer/Owner Jamie Venice