Why We Shouldn’t Tell Our Little Black Queens to Straighten Their Hair

I was parking into Smoothie King because I was craving a 20oz Chocolate Hulk and came upon this little girl that walk in with a woman that wasn’t that same race as her. Looked like they were in the same vehicle. Wasn’t sure if she was her mom, adopted mom, or whatever. In other words, I was unsure of her relation to her so excuse my ignorance. I walked into the Smoothie King and the lady was ordering them both fruit smoothies. The little girl glanced at me twice. Once she smiled and I smiled back at her. The second time it looked like she wanted to say something but did not want to come off weird. She seemed to be very shy and not very confident in her skin. She had a cute TWA, stylish glasses and glanced at the floor from time to time.

“Two 20oz Passion Smoothies please,” says the lady. After she ordered their smoothies, she asked the little girl,” So are you going to let your hair grow out? Or allow it to grow longer??” The little black queen responded with,” I am not sure. I cut it off short. It might grow I do not know.” The little black queen glanced away from her for a little bit and then looked at the floor as if she was uncomfortable with how this conversation is going. The lady replies, ” Oh, well I like it like that. Can you comb through it??”

When she asked her that question I almost said something. I was very close to interrupting but I let the conversation to continue. Little black queen replied,” It is sometimes hard to comb through it. I might need someone to help me.” The lady replies,” Well, as I said before I love your hair how it is.” Little Black Queen responded with a huge grin,” Thank you so much.”

When I saw the little black queen’s face light up after that comment I then knew that when I have a little black queen of my own I will never let her feel insecure in her own skin. I remember when I first went natural. One day, I decided to grow my hair out and cut it off. I literally walked down stairs one day with short curly hair and my mom was very supportive of it, however, people at school was not here for it. They were saying,” Why would you cut all of that hair?! Are you going to straighten it?!” When my fro started to get bigger,” I bet your hair would be down your back if you straighten it! You should straighten it!.”

The south is a great place to be but also it will test your confidence. So many people are too worried about other people’s appearance. Too worried about how long someone’s hair is. Too concerned about how everyone else is dressed for church. Just overall nosey, but that is the south for you. We have to watch what we say to our little girls. This world is already criticizing them daily. We do not need to add to that as well. When they go home, their home should not be as judgmental and stressful as their every day life is. We are their safe haven. We are their support system. We are their extra ounce of confidence. So to that little black queen I saw in smoothie king, you looked amazing and you wore your TWA ( tiny weeny Afro) so well. Keep your head high. You are beautiful. You will have some days with your hair that you will not feel as confident but you will get through those days.

A painting I did for my best friend’s nursery

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